What is Outside the Jar?
Is it a way of thinking, a way of behaving, a way of supporting, a system of beliefs and values, or literally just things that don't fit in an eight ounce mason jar?
I suppose, if you are one of those people that uses the Oxford English Dictionary, that goes strictly by the letter of the law, it is anything outside the rim or sides of a jar; and those (jars) that I use the most in my daily life just happen to be eight ounce mason jars. However, although I have a degree in English, I like to think the world is a bit bigger than a dictionary and there is a broader spectrum to what we call life.
So many people have contributed to what I am, I can never possibly thank them all; for example my family was able to visit the infinity pools in New York this summer. I don't know the people personally whose lives were given to save others; friends of friends, business associates and more. But their rescuers are wonderful examples of thinking outside the jar, behaving or acting on instinct--just because.
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One of the biggest ego boosters in my life is my son Kenneth. He has never seen me without giving me at least a dozen hugs, big sloppy kisses, and telling me how much he loves me a zillion times. He asks me out on "mommy-son" dates daily, and wants to be with me forever. How lucky can a mom be? How many mom's do you know that have a 20 year old son that does that? huh? huh? You may know from past posts that Kenneth has a dozen labels (autism, developmental delay, yada, yada, yada) but you know what? Think outside the jar! That just makes him have special abilities that I DON'T have! I cannot tell you how many times I have wished that a teacher or a person that worked with Kenneth has had half the ability to be as kind, loving and tolerant as Kenneth is. What an incredible quality to have. I wish I could keep him inside a jar so the world doesn't ruin him! *smile*
Kenneth spends a lot of time with this lady, Jance.... She is a gift from god to our family, but especially to Kenneth. They speak the same language. She is Kenneth's staff, and has known him for sixteen years now, taught him how to think on his own, to treat himself and others with kindness, dignity, and respect. When people make mean or disparaging comments to Kenneth, she just gently guides him away. She is always thinking, seeing, breathing and living outside the jar; a rare person. Kenneth works with dozens of different staff-Jance is the only one who has never broken his skin, left a bruise or any physical marks due to excess restraints. Outside the jar, Inside our hearts.
I say that my dad is my hero so many times I cannot keep count. He is the sole person that is responsible for teaching me to think with kindness, do not judge, be prejudiced, hateful or cruel-to anyone or anything. Do not just do what is normal, but be yourself, be original. Be true to yourself. It is rare for him to utter harsh words about anyone (well except one person) and when he says something abrupt, it is normally the direct truth; who can fault that? My father lived in a miserable marriage until I turned 18 because he wanted ME to have two parents. I saw the hate and shame that my mother poured onto him on an hourly basis-it was scorching, biting, seething and like nothing a person would say to their worst enemy. When I found out he stayed in an abusive home so I would have a mom and a dad, I cried. He lives outside that jar.
I am so far from perfect, but I have these great examples to follow and many, many more! As an employer, I have had to deal with an employee who cheated on time cards, who treated myself and my daughter-in-law like second class citizens, and who lied to my face about many things. I don't like to fire people because the well being of their families is always first and for most in my mind, but that person does not work for me any more. They decided to quit (much to the relief of all my employees.) Thinking outside the jar in that situation may have lost me a few bucks on paychecks, and allowed them to carelessly damage equipment, but I did not lower myself to their level. By thinking outside the jar and remembering what my dad taught me, the problem literally solved itself. On a daily basis I am shot down for running a business by people in my community that run businesses the "right" way. I am not sure what they mean, but I love my business and it jams! We fill up our jars just perfectly by thinking outside the jar, being creative and loving our lives.
